


5 Times the Deadpan Snarker

by fulcrumania



Series: 5 Times Where Karna is a Deadpan Snarker, and the 1 time he was actually Genuine [1]
Category: Fate/Apocrypha, Mahabharata
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-16
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 10:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fulcrumania/pseuds/fulcrumania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karna has a little kickstart of growing up to be the man he'll become in the future, albeit in a humorous way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not What it Used to Be

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually for a 5+1 meme in one of the games I RP at, but I never got around to finishing the other four.

When he was young, Karna had always admired his older brother Shona. Everywhere he went, the little white-haired boy would go along as well. Whatever he did, he would try to replicate also. Sometimes Shona would get a little annoyed, but the both of them would always laugh it off at the end of the day.

Not even growing older would change the dynamics of their brotherly relationship, as Shona had grown into a normal, everyday adolescent like the others, while Karna had grown quiet, but observant of others, and sometimes had to keep his older brother from making too much of a fool of himself.

However, it was not the day to do that, as Shona was out strutting his stuff by the river and flexing his arms in front of a couple of girls, while Karna simply sat a bit furtherways behind the little commotion, watching each and every muscles on their face contort slightly at his brother's "act of confidence", before one of them began to giggle, which then prompted the other one to follow up as well. Soon after, they left.

Shona turned to his little brother with a big grin. "Well?" he asked. "Those girls sure were knocked off their feet when I showed them! Bet you that they'll come back running to me tomorrow, eh?"

Karna took a moment to glance at the two girls, who were shaking their heads and could still be heard giggling in the distance, and then back to a seemingly assured Shona.

"...yeah. You sure showed them."

A flat reply, but nonetheless, his older brother never suspected a thing.


	2. The Worth of a Being

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wouldn't stop his friend from his pursuit of the most beautiful women to hail India, even though he himself thinks she isn't worth it.

Karna never understood why Duryodhana was intent on having Draupadi become his wife. As far as he was concerned, a woman that goes beyond the limit of one husband is no more of worth then a whore on the streets. Sure, she was supremely beautiful enough to be sought by most of the men in the country, but to him and only him, he knew she was anything but.

As his friend went on about her, he would usually nod or give a shrug of indifference, if only to lessen the suspicion that he wasn't exactly fond of her, and also because quite frankly, he was a little tired of hearing about her every day.

He began to drift into his thoughts, but Duryodhana's enthusiastic voice snapped him out of it, unfortunately.

"Karna! Hey, Karna!" he said, turning to look at his right-hand man. "You think there's any woman that's even more beautiful then Draupadi?"

The white-haired demigod could only stare at him for a moment, before he shook his head.

"Of course not. None of them could ever match up to her, not even the goddesses we worship." he replied. His monotony rang through his words, though Duryodhana had misinterpreted it as something good, and laughed wholeheartedly as he patted him on the shouder. After all, any man who wasn't interested in her is surely a maniacal fool. Or, so his best friend thought.


	3. Fake Disillusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to go for a different sort of deadpan snarking, but this might be a hit-and-miss.

As Karna grew to the tender age of 14, certain interests had begun to take root; most notably, warfare. He had been knowledgeable with the works for quite some time, as his father would come back after a long day, and would always tell stories of the grim battlefield. No longer wanting to follow in his father's footsteps, he sought for a way to become a warrior. Unfortunately, the only option available at the time was only open Kuru princes. As Karna was merely the son of a charioteer, he was extremely crestfallen when Dronacharya refused his request.

However, even with this minor setback, he didn't give up. With Shona's help and the guidance of the sun god Surya, he practiced with every weapon he got ahold of, gaining both the knowledge and skill needed to become as great of a warrior as he could be.

One day, while he was on his noon-time break, Shona and their friend Ashwathama arrived after a long trip, and came over to tell Karna of a spectacular moment during their visit to Hastinapur, in which they witnessed a young man shooting the eye of a wooden crow on the very first try.

"Man, if only I had skills like that," Shona sighed, as he crossed his arms on his chest. "The ladies wouldn't be able to resist me for sure."

Ashwathama burst out laughing. "Ha! The day that happens is the day India's lands will shed tears of blood, " he said, before he lightly jabbed at Karna's side with his elbow. "Hey, Karna! That Arjuna guy seems to be pretty good, but what do you think?"

Though Karna's expression remained neutral, a light of excitement shone in his eyes. Never before had such a feat been done, especially from a fellow human being. A mixture of emotion swelled in him, while he tried to keep a straight face and nodded in agreement.

"Mm. I'm sure the heavens think of him a god now," he replied, feigning a sort of disinterest. But, Ashwathama and Shona both knew this wasn't true in the least.


End file.
